Science Finds The Perfect Breasts

Shut the front door: Scientists have finally found the perfect breasts.

No, they weren’t hiding in the Amazon or roving solo across the Sahara; it turns out these perfect breasts were hiding in a plastic surgeon’s office this whole time! Now, before you get all worked up, the American Society of Plastic Surgeons would like you to know that the super-fake looking plastic breasts of yore are not actually what people think are most attractive now.

According to a study published in the Journal of Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery-which involved asking over 1,300 people to look at pictures of naked boobies and rank them by hotness-people preferred a moreRealandNormallook from their silicone, with the ideal breast shape having a 45:55 ratio.

People said the best chests have 45 percent of the fullness above the nipple line and 55 percent of the fullness below, in a slightly teardrop shape.

Researchers noted this preference remained consistent across gender, racial, and ethnic groups with the 45:55 ratio favored by 87 percent of women in their 30s, 90 percent of men, and 94 percent of plastic surgeons.

We’re certainly not knocking the decision to get breast implants-women have lots of great reasons for enhancements ranging fromIt makes me feel more confidenttoWhat I do with my body is none of your business”-but we are a little confused about calling this new standardPerfectand even more confused about proclaiming it to beReal.” After all, aren’t all breasts real breasts?

When it comes to normal breasts, there is a lot of variation.

If you’ve been in a locker room lately, you know that normal nippers come in every size from Nearly Flat to Good Golly Miss Molly.

There are even more options for breast shape with 19 different identified builds for your bra buddies.

Not to mention that both your shape and size can change dramatically over your lifetime as you age, go through puberty, gain or lose weight, have children, fight cancer, or have surgery.

Our breasts go through a lot for us! So we say that whether you have triple-A tatas, size G gazongas, or more moderate mounds, they’re all perfect.